just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
