so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize