don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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