textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
