Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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