My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
