Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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