she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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