erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It's blow job season.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize