I want you more than these girls want KFC
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
