2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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