He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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