Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just had sex bonerless
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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