and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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