I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
should my penis look like a turkey
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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