I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
