my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
