so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
