he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
