My boss' voice literally gives me gas
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
