And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
