My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
