i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
