she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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