I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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