at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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