My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Panties = found
Randomize
