Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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