How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We're too hungover to prance.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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