im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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