if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
