Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
