I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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