Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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