My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.