I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
But break dance skills will only take you so far
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?