If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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