Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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