If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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