Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
