the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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