Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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