So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize