stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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