I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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