I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize