is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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