Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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