4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
