A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
