one word: firstdatebathroomanal
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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