Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize