those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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