yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
