i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
