I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
