after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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