I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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