Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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